Thursday, July 31, 2008

Nomeansno's New Demo


Rob Wright by Jillian King. I think.

It's not a prank - Rob Wright really has provided a new Nomeansno demo, "Old," for fans to listen to on Nomeansno's Myspace page. It's a promising song - there's a bit more of Ireland in it than usually is visible in his songwriting... The band has no plans, to my knowledge, to do anything in Vancouver soon, but Tom Holliston has a couple of solo shows coming up in Vancouver, and there'll be a Hanson Brothers live album out in September. I'm enjoying my break from them, as I saw them do six separate Ausfahrt shows (the Anza Club Small Parts gig, the Commodore Jazzfest gig, a Red Room show and three shows in Ontario, including the Horseshoe in Toronto); it was enough Nomeansno to tide me over for awhile!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Beep!

My buddy Michael has a malfunctioning cellphone; the microphone died awhile ago. He can hear other people's voices, but they cannot hear his. They can, however, hear the beep of his cellphone keys when he presses them. We have worked out an ingenious code, thus: "one beep yes" (which I think would be a brilliant band name); "two beeps no;" "three beeps fuck off;" and "four beeps other/ I don't know." It requires, of course, that his interlocuter frames everything as a yes/no question. A typical phonecall between us just occured:

I answer the phone, and seeing it is his cellphone on my call display, say, "Beep."

He beeps once in greeting.

"So are you joining me for the Chaplin film?"

"Beep." Good!

"You're okay with the 7:15 showtime?"

"Beep."

It is now on me to figure out where and when we might meet, so that he can beep his assent or demurral. We must start by establishing his location. "Are you downtown?"

"Beep."

"Are you in the west end?"

"Beep."

"Are you getting food?"

"Beep beep."

I decide I don't really need to know what he's doing. "Do you want to meet here before the movie?" He lives four floors above me, so we tend to meet, if we're going out, at my place.

"Beep."

"Do you want to meet at 7?"

Four beeps.

"Do you want to meet at 6:30?"

Four beeps.

"Do you want to meet at 6?"

"Beep beep beep beep."

"Okay, I'm not going to bother with 6:15 and 6:45 or such. You don't know when you want to meet."

"Beep." (We follow the Japanese method of assent here - he agrees to my negative, rather than indicating that "No, he doesn't know," by beeping twice).

"We will meet whenever you get back to the building?"

"Beep."

"Sometime before 7."

"Beep."

"I'll see you here, then!"

"Beep."

"Goodbye."

"Beep."

If all cellphones were like this, they probably wouldn't annoy me as much.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Must See at the Cinematheque

There's a jaw-dropping Charlie Chaplin film at the Cinematheque, a film so dark, morally complex, and beautifully crafted that it has elevated my respect for Chaplin's artistry a hundredfold: Monsieur Verdoux. It plays twice more this week, on Monday and Wednesday night, and I highly recommend seeing it; it will delight you even more if you know little about it, so I will say little, though you can always click that link - to the Cinematheque's site - if you want some idea what's in store. The "little tramp" on Chaplin's shoulder in the image to the left is false advertising, by the way; a bit of physical comedy aside, this film, made in 1947, bears little to no resemblance to Chaplin's earlier comedies. Truly a must-see.

Monday, July 21, 2008

When Catfish Walk

I'd like to see this.

The Dark Knight (of the American soul)

Why are people flocking to see The Dark Knight? Sure, I know - Heath Ledger’s death, a clever advertising campaign, and the general herdishness of the herd all play a role, but... do people actually enjoy this experience? Why? It’s a profoundly well-crafted and generous movie, to be sure, spending a great deal of time, considerable expense, and the efforts of a remarkably skilled cast and crew to tell its story - unlike the idiotic and contemptible Iron Man, the previous blockbuster hit of the year - but does ANYONE, critic or lay, actually emerge from The Dark Knight feeling that this is an experience worth recommending to others?

On what basis do they arrive at that valuation? Someone explain it to me, for I am vexed. Is it somehow consoling to certain viewers - American viewers, say - in its implicit messages that state-sanctioned vigilantism, torture, surveillance, official lying to the public, disregard for due process - cf. the Joker’s spiels about just wanting his phone call - and other such relevant evils are all necessary evils, and that American virtue, however troubled it may be, however questionable its recourse to such methods may render it in the public eye, is still virtue, and will eventually be recognized as such (even if not in the course of the film?).

What, then, of the persistent grimness of the film, its hopeless, joyless, ultimately enervating slog from one terrible situation to the next? If the purpose of the movie is indeed as it appears to be, to comfort and console us that “we” are the good guys - just as our hero and primary source of identification in the film remains a good guy despite all - what is also served by making “heroism” such a bleak, thankless affair? The film simultaneously appears to tell us that everything is okay - we’re still good people; and that the world itself is terrible and will remain so. (The crude game theory situation that the film crafts involving two ferries, given the choice to blow each other up, is little consolation; neither ferry destroys the other, but both come so close as to nullify any inspiring platitudes about basic human goodness; we are required to contemplate just the opposite, for far too long, for such a message to be the ultimate result). This is a remarkably hopeless film, an ugly, dark experience. Who could have ever expected it to be a huge hit? Who would think audiences would be so masochistic?

Truth is, the experience of watching The Dark Knight left me talking to the friend who accompanied me about the Deep State, MK Ultra, and the vested interests of the very rich and powerful. I was forced to paraphrase another friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, more than once, since I lack my own language for such things. The film appears to be a remarkable feat of propaganda, both reassuring us that the US government is, all appearances to the contrary, doing the right things in the world since September 11th, and sapping us of the will to do anything at all to try to change things as they are. Its ultimate effect would appear to be that of encouraging passive consumerism and depressed, despairing acceptance - there’s not much else to feel as you slump out of the theatre, drained and tired. It arrives at such a place so skillfully that it is nearly impossible to me to accept a Chomsky/Herman sort of “free market” analysis - that the ideology of the wealthy engraves itself in such a text as if writ by an invisible hand, the better to manufacture consent and so forth; the film so thoroughly, consistently, and cynically works to deplete and pacify its viewers, to numb them and disempower them even as it appears to “entertain,” that I can only conclude one of two things:

1) that it was designed to do such by some vastly evil force with a vested interest in perpetuating the status quo; it is a deliberately and finely crafted act of propaganda, that carefully reads the current political climate and injects exactly the sort of message that both the mass audience, and their owners, are craving right now, to allow things to continue as they are. IF there exists a cadre of powerful, wealthy, malignant "rulers," behind the scenes, and IF they had a propaganda wing, a film like this would SURELY be their crowning achievement; if they didn't produce such a thing, they would at the very least feel jealous of - and indebted to - those who did. I mean, if I wanted to control the minds of Americans and get'em to vote Republican (or such), The Dark Knight would be how I'd do it, no doubt about it. I bet George W. Bush himself can derive consolation from this film, seeing himself as a "misunderstood hero."

Or:

2) that it was cynically designed as a money-making vehicle by people who figured that this is the sort of shit that Americans need and want right now; it exploits and agitates American bad conscience, and offers a self-punitive, self-pitying palliative - “a cure for what ails you” - simply because the filmmakers figure that a lot of people will buy it. Everyone hates us, but we're still the good guys: now go back to sleep.

In either case - snake charming or snake oil - there is not the slightest thought in my mind that The Dark Knight’s design was ACCIDENTAL. (Apparently the previous Batman movie by Nolan had Batman square off against a cave-dwelling terrorist; I didn’t see it, but imagine that I would feel much the same about it). In the first scenario, it’s designed to have a political effect, and the resultant blockbuster payday is secondary; in the second, the payday is the point. I suppose we could craft a third scenario, combining elements of both, but in any case I cannot but see this film as an extremely smart, calculating, and self-aware move. Who is making the move, and to what end, is not strictly relevant: it’s scary as fuck, and deeply objectionable, either way, as is the fact that most critics will surely come nowhere close to acknowledging any of the above.

At this point, I find myself seriously entertaining the thought that there IS a conscious Mind War afoot here, perferring it to the thought that ultimately it was all just about the money. Grandiose evil is less depressing than mundane: hence the argument that conspiracy theorists are “comforting” themselves with their theories. Is this film really just an indicator of how cynical Hollywood can be? How sad and dull, and how scary; I have more respect for the DTES' crack dealers than I do Warner Brothers tonight.

What an experience I have had at the theatre this evenings, friends. Why is this film a hit? It's a dull, relentless, "one-ordeal-after-the-other" celebration of NOTHING, a boring, grim, nihilistic burp of sloth, cynicism and despair. THIS is a superhero movie?

Hey: if you saw and enjoyed The Dark Knight, can you explain what the hell you got out of it to me? Because I don’t get it in the slightest.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Writing Comedown

Guhh. Here it is: the depressive, unfocussed slump left in the wake of a particularly intense period of writing. I wrote four articles last week - something for Xtra West, in their current issue, about an unofficial "Peanuts" derivation that explores, in part, homophobic bullying ("Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenaged Blockhead," in its final night tonight at Havana); and three articles for the Skinny, on Shearing Pinx, Tunnel Canary, and the Rebel Spell/ Subhumans show (see below). I negotiated all that while also making a weekend trip to a casino in the States with my parents; finishing a somewhat intense final week of marking and report cards at work; and cutting sugar almost completely out of my diet, on the advice of my endodontist (who started work on my root canal two weeks ago). There's an excitement felt, writing that much, putting that much focussed effort into things; but there's definitely a comedown afterwards. Having set aside a weekend to NOT write, to just relax and recharge my batteries, I suddenly am all too aware that my apartment's a mess, that I feel fat and exhausted, that I'm still single, and that I have a larger-than-usual pile of laundry to get to; and all I want to do is flop back into bed. All my hard work should be rewarded with a blowjob and a massage, at the very least, but none are forthcoming! And so I pout. What fucking good is this writing stuff anyhow?

Garnet Sweatshirt?


...the fuck? Any of you heard of this? It's a CD with Brian Goble, Jon Card, RANDY BACHMAN (???) and CHRIS HOUSTON on it, often co-writing songs; I was in Japan when it was released (2000), so I have a pretty good excuse for not knowing about it, but... the fuck? Brian just sold me a copy after his set at Slickity Jim's tonight (imagine: an acoustic version of "For the Common Good," where you can understand the lyrics!). I'm too pooped to listen to it right now, and I must confess that, while I'm curious, my expectations are, um, kinda low (tho' the one song on it solely written by Goble, "One Thing to Fear," was one of tonight's highlights; there are more songs by Goble that I have never heard before than I'd previously realized). I'm kind of shocked to discover this CD exists, without my ever having heard of it before.

Funniest moment of the concert (barring the singalong choruses for "Fuck You" and "Slave to My Dick"): I shouted out an encore request for "Green Acres," and Femke, takin' pics, burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the suggestion, not realizing that it is indeed in Brian's repertoire. She laughed even harder when he started singing it... Good thing I didn't request "Gilligan's Island."

Friday, July 18, 2008

Subhumans singer goes country - tonight at Slickety Jim's!

Photo by Allan MacInnis

For anyone not payin' attention, Brian "Wimpy Roy" Goble (pictured above with Mike Graham and Jon Card from a Subhumans show a few years ago) will be doing a solo country set (!), alongside, I believe, Beatrice Smartt, at Slickety Jim's Chat'n'Chew tonight, starting around 8:30 or 9. The Subhumans are really busy guys these days - their website has yet to mention either of their two planned summer concerts, and I haven't been able to hail Brian to talk to him about tonight's set - but I'm pretty excited to see what he'll be doing.
You can read a bit more about the benefit for Darfur that the Subhumans will be playing, also featuring the Rebel Spell, here - it's on the 26th at Seylynn Hall in North Vancouver. I didn't manage to work in mention of the country set, alas...
Oh, and in case you didn't pick up the Skinny, the article on Tunnel Canary, who perform tomorrow night, is here.

Chilliwack Bigfoot Sighting

Been awhile since I heard tell of a BC bigfoot sighting...

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Rebel Spell and the Subhumans: all ages show in North Vancouver


Also in the Skinny - a brief chat with Todd Serious of the Rebel Spell about the situation in Darfur (for which the July 26th North Vancouver show with the Subhumans is a benefit). We also talk about activism and Direct Action, the Olympics, and other juicy topics. These guys are two of my favourite punk bands ever from the Vancouver scene and the gig has great, great promise...

Tunnel Canary: two upcoming shows


The major piece of mine in the new issue of the Skinny will be on Tunnel Canary, a band that would be considered a legendary part of the Vancouver underground music scene in the late 1970s/ early 1980s, if only more people remembered who they were. No time to write about' em at length here, suffice to say that my interview with Nathan in the Skinny is one of my favourite things I've done so far this year, and that I highly urge those curious about experimental music to check out:

a) my piece in the Skinny, not yet online.


b) Tunnel Canary's record release show at the Sweatshop on the 19th, which will also feature a screening of Eric Lohrenz' documentary on the band, including wild footage of Nathan Holiday, their guitarist, and original vocalist Ebra Ziron, doing an aggressive and scary "street theatre" piece at the corner of Granville and Georgia, as a crowd of fascinated, intimidated people look on. The new version of Tunnel Canary, performing at the event, will feature a different vocalist, Mya Mayhem. The Mutators and Flatgrey will also be performing. There are two LPs versions of the record coming out - a single and a double - including stuff already on the Jihad CD, and previously unreleased material. Contact Josh at Run Down Sun for ordering info. (Their Myspace is here, btw).

c) And if that leaves you wanting more, Nathan will be performing again at Blim on the 25th, I believe, again with a screening of the documentary.

Meantime, aren't these gig posters cool?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Disappearing Act

Okay, folks - I'm swamped again, writing projects, family issues, work issues, medical issues, a messy kitchen...

Bear in mind: Tunnel Canary perform two upcoming shows, July 19th (the Sweatshop - a record release party with the Mutators and Flatgrey) and July 25th (a much smaller event at Blim). Working on something on them, may have more here later.

Right now, I have to crash. A man must sleep. No blogging this weekend... Does anyone care?

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Melodic Energy Commission gig, July 13th!


Hey, gang - to promote the July 13th WISE Hall appearance of the Melodic Energy Commission, here's a piece of writing I did for Discorder a few years ago, when I was just getting started at this being-paid-nothing-for-talking-to-local-musicians game.

Time Slips Away: The Resurgence of the Melodic Energy Commission
An interview with Don Xaliman and Randy Raine-Reusch
by Allan MacInnis


I was a young punk kid into DOA and the Subhumans when a friend lent me a decidedly odd local LP, The Migration of the Snails, on which his relative, George McDonald, had played. A theme album, it featured song titles like “Gastropods in Transit” and “Escargot,” and had bizarre, snail-related album art. The music reminded me of progrock and Tangerine Dream at times, psychedelic rock at others, but had an arty, ethereal quality that defied easy pigeonholing, and I had no idea what some of the instruments listed on the back were (khaen? Gas and steam bass? Delatronics?). The strangeness of it stuck with me – but I didn’t spin it more than twice, and went back to listening to the Dead Kennedys.

Flash forward 23 years – 23 years filled with musical and psychopharmacological experimentation – and I’m standing at Cathedral Square, listening to a city-commissioned art project by Mercury Theatre III. George McDonald is playing a homemade Theremin as part of a space-noise jam, but I don’t recognize his name. A few months later, local musician Dan Kibke introduces me to George, in the audience at an Acid Mothers Temple show at Richards on Richards, but I’m preoccupied with practicing my Japanese by offering Makoto Kawabata a “special” cookie and still don’t clue in. A few months later still, Dan plays me a disc George is on, and the penny drops: “Wait a second – didn’t these guys once record an album called The Migration of the Snails?”
And so the old adage is proven correct: when the listener is ready, the musician will come, in this case in the form of the Melodic Energy Commission. Vancouver’s best-kept psychedelic secrets re-released their first two LPs, Stranger in Mystery (1979) and Migration of the Snails (1980) on one disc, Moonphase Compendium, in 1997. Last year, the core members of the band, Don Xaliman, George McDonald, and Randy Raine-Reusch (alongside a host of non-local collaborators) released a well-received new CD, Time Is a Slippery Concept, on Xaliman’s “indy audio video studio” label, Energy Discs They’re now set to actually try to get heard in the city that spawned them.

Describing their music is no easy feat. It’s pop music, to be sure, and spacy, but difficult to pin down otherwise. Raine-Reusch, who makes a “full-time career in the music biz,” as composer, musician, and writer, lists influences from “the Beatles, Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and the Dead,” to “African and Indian music, jazz, and blues.” He’s fronted a 30 piece didjeridu orchestra and has associated or played with avant-gardists as diverse as John Fahey, John Cage, Eugene Chadbourne, Mats Gustafsson, Jean Derome, and Pauline Oliveros. If you think you’re getting close to being able to categorize him, note that he also played various world instruments on Yes’ The Ladder and on Aerosmith’s album Pump (!), organized festivals in Borneo and has collaborated with Cirque du Soleil, Ann Mortifee, and Alpha YaYa Diallo. Like Don Xaliman (who recently “performed on faglung – a Filipino stringed instrument – for the governor general of Canada at the Chinese night market”), he is fond of traditional instruments from other cultures. On the new album he is credited with playing flutes, saling, balimbing, shakuhachi, dizi, duduk, and more – a pretty diverse list, given that the overall texture of the disc is electronic.
In case you still aren’t clear on just how difficult the MEC are to type, there’s a rap tune, too (“Beehive Jive,”) and a track, “For Sure,” that evokes Led Zeppelin’s “Battle of Evermore,” with Xaliman’s mystical vocal stylings – at least up until it starts to sound like an Indonesian gamelan orchestra. These guys are slippery, indeed.

Raine-Reusch, as accomplished a musician as he is, points out that Don Xaliman is “really the core of it all. We all do our own thing and get together when Xaliman calls us.” Xaliman, who also plays guitar, keyboards, and writes the band’s lyrics, described his process via email: “Over the years Commissioners at improv sessions have been enticed to display a heightened state of creative bliss and it’s sonically frozen in time,” and added to Xaliman’s sound library. Xaliman “restructures the cream to form a composition that never existed before. It's really an extraction process. Harmless, but capable of enhancing or distorting reality. That's why some people refer to our music as psychedelic: we have found ways to create psychotropically appearing musical soundscapes with and without actually consuming the elixir. ‘Psychedelic’ refers to the experience the listener receives, rather than the experience the musician is having. It's really just about painting mystical, magical, sonic scenery… At times the sound is made up of many layers of almost subliminal instrumentation. I use that method to create full and unusual ambience rather than just throw a bunch of reverb effects into the mix.”
Xaliman’s sources for the new album were recorded over a 20 year period, and include recordings he made of “2000 drummers at the Plaza of Nations and 100 people chanting Ohm in Kits House,” to which Randy added dulcimer and George, Theremin. As he says, “there are well over 2000 musicians on this album.”

The band owes much of its popularity in “European space-rock circles” to Del Dettmar, who, Xaliman explains, “learned his chops from playing sheets of synthesized sounds with Hawkwind for their first five albums.” Dettmar was in BC to make some money planting trees when he struck up a friendship with the MEC, and “helped put the music together for the first two albums. He had a British analog EMS Synthi and is a true wizard with a wand – a woodsman double headed axe with a big bass string clamped to the handle… Melodic Energy Commission was fortunate to have a brief ride on his cloak-tail, and even though we never sounded much like Hawkwind, we were well received for our imaginative textures.” Their long out-of-print LPs fetch hefty collectors’ prices in Europe, and their CDs are easier to find in stores there than here.
Another reason Vancouverites may not be so familiar with the MEC, as Xaliman explains, is that they’ve “rarely performed live as the Melodic Energy Commission, either here or anywhere else.” In 2005, they did a “music and laser improvisation at the Planetarium,” called 'Nearly See Clearly,’ which Xaliman recorded and may yet release. Otherwise, they hadn’t performed with all three core members since the mid-1980s, when they opened for Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band on their farewell tour, at the Commodore Ballroom. Xaliman proudly reports that the band got a “heartfelt standing ovation and an encore,” got to say hello to the Captain, and were compared to Gong by one of the band members. They also had fun eating the food and drinking the beer on the Captain’s rider.

I asked Xaliman about his philosophy of music. “Music has the potential of moving energy within our being and altering moods. It's like a movie where you get caught up in the comedy, adventure and dramatic ride. We want you to leave the theatre feeling that you experienced a good story and will come back someday. Like after an invigorating sonic massage. A refreshing vacation to the space between particles of time.”
As one might gather, there is a fondness for hippie culture in Xaliman, who likes “its tribal integrity and [the way it’s] morphed itself into a colourful street and village culture.” He says, “along with every other cultural influence that's swayed me, I am part hippie, part techno-traveller, and an alien crossbreed.” Raine-Reusch concurs: “a lot of the ideas of the early hippie movement I still live with: peace, harmony, the need to preserve nature.... I have a hard time with all the greed and war in the world at the moment.”
Given their music and values, one might be surprised to discover that the members of the band I talked to are not, in fact, big fans of drugs. Raine-Reusch’s mother was an alcoholic, so he “stayed away, except for a short and disastrous foray.” A Taoist since age 15, to enhance his perceptions he has “focused on deep meditation and trance.” Xaliman likewise says that he is “not into doing drugs,” and prefers thinking of their music as “Otherworld Music,” rather than “psychedelic.” (He coyly adds, however, “I sometimes partake in sacred herbs with psychoactive properties.”) During the peak of their live performances in the early 80s, they did drink a fair bit of alcohol, Xaliman notes. This phase was documented on a cassette called M=E/C2, and a rare 45 rpm single, distributed mostly in California and Scotland. “I never liked the mixes but the music truly rocks,” Xaliman says. “Recently I transferred the raw tracks to digital and am looking for a spot of time to mix them properly. They are so different that I may think up another band name for that project…”
George McDonald is “presently working way up north in Alberta, searching for oil,” and could not be reached for comment. Don says “he's built the most amazing Theremin and is anxious to perform with it and his electric guitar,” and will definitely be involved in future MEC projects. One release to look forward to, Congenial Twist, will be coming out this summer. Xaliman describes it as “joyous, mysterious instrumentals made with unusual sounds and instruments… composed for a magic and reptiles show. It will have an accompanying storybook for kids.”
Xaliman is also interested in video and visual art, and has been “intermittently exploring photography and graphics for posters and album covers, recently for Mantravani Orchestra, Orchid Ensemble, Richard Hite and the recent designs for Melodic Energy Commission.” Some of his work can be seen on their website, http://www.melodicenergy.com/. The band is hopeful that the Internet will pave the way to their becoming better known; though Neptoon and Zulu stock their discs, most of their sales have, as of yet, happened through their site. Raine-Reusch’s website is at http://www.asza.com/. MP3s of a few of their tracks are available at http://www.myspace.com/melodicenergycommission.

Shearing Pinx show moved

It's no longer at the Sweatshop, it's at Pub 340, and it runs from 3PM to 1AM. It is no longer all ages. Don't know much else, except that Anju regrets the change...

A few internet peeves

Random gripes:

Suddenly, Myspace has banners with tits and "fake chat" imagery everywhere, and gigantic ads for God-knows-what (Toxic Garbage Island?) that slow down the loading time on my creaking "hi-speed lite" connection.

My main page for Hotmail is starting to look like a supermarket tabloid rack (today, headlines pronounce "Lenny Kravitz Consoling A-Rod's Wife?" I have no idea who A-Rod is; I assume "consoling" is a euphemism for "fucking").

Yahoo are getting cagey with their celebrity headlines. They announced today, "The original 'Ghostbusters' cast will appear in the new video game, except for one key star." But they won't tell you who unless you click! I couldn't care less about anything related to Ghostbusters... so why does this headline actually make me curious? The thing is a video, too, so you can't even get the information unless you watch an ad or two... (It's Rick Moranis. I didn't realize he's basically retired from movie-making - his wife died of liver cancer awhile back, so he's a single parent; and he's made enough money that he doesn't really have to act to support himself. He's also released a comedic country album, The Agoraphobic Cowboy. Well. Okay, now I know more about Rick).

I don't like the new design for Znet at all!

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Signed Daniel Johnston Frogs for sale!


Right, well, apparently the little froggy guy to the left is known as "Jeremiah the Innocent;" the Daniel Johnston site is now selling plastic models of them, with the box signed by Daniel, for $150. Personally, I'll make do with the t-shirt, but some of you maybe need this, or at least think you do, so...
You should at least click the link to see'em, they're kinda cute!

Friday, July 04, 2008

On the lack of good mistakes in my students' papers

Contrary to what you may expect, there are very few entertaining or intellectually stimulating errors in the papers handed in by my ESL students.

A sample of an intellectually stimulating error: when we were studying about food, I made the point to my students that when using foreign words - for instance, when talking about foods like dduk bokki, a sort of Korean rice-noodle dish almost unknown in North America ('cept among Koreans, of course) - they should be italicized in typing or underlined in handwriting. This is not uncomplicated, however: what if that same student mentions kimchi? Most North Americans do know what kimchi is, and I'd normally consider it a word that we have "borrowed" into English (the English word for kimchi is kimchi, and needs no fanfare or italicization). Ditto for common Japanese food names, like sushi. But what about okonomiyaki, or even lesser known foods like natto? And what if the student is listing their country's foods, going back and forth between words that we have borrowed into English, and words we haven't? Do we underline them all, and treat them all as foreign, for the sake of consistency on the page, even though they aren't equally foreign to the reader? This is intellectually stimulating - to at least some extent - because it reveals that such conventions are simply asserted at some point in history, when a word becomes familiar enough to be treated as such; and that, as cultures mix and awareness grows, more and more words will be crossing the line between the foreign and the familiar, with many lingering in a grey area.

You may reply: "but that's really not very interesting, Al," and I would understand. The case remains that in six years of marking student papers, it was a high point; relative to most of the mundane mechanical mistakes people make - beginning sentences with "and," using the base form of a verb when they want a gerund, dropping articles or prepositions or plural markers, not knowing when to begin or end a paragraph, etc - the question of when to underline or not is absolutely fascinating. "Hey, one of my students made a mistake that I actually had to think about for a second! Wow!"

There are, however, occasional cheap chuckles to be had. For example, on Chuseok, Koreans make an offering at the grave of their ancestors; which is very different from "making an ancestral sacrifice at the cemetary," as one student wrote. I would rather, you understand, encounter intellectually stimulating errors than cheap chuckles... but one makes do with what one has.

In that spirit, then, I thought it amusing to note the rendering of a certain teenaged Canadian pop singer's name as "Avril Ravine," which I noted today while marking a student paper.

Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk. Sigh.