Smoked, Vanishing Waves, Pointed Sticks... and guilt...

If I could make it to Vancouver tomorrow I would see Smoked - official site here, Adrian Mack interview with the director here - at the Rio Grind Film Festival. Read up on it and tell me it doesn't sound great - a smart black comedy about the after-effects of a marijuana rip-off? I'm definitely intrigued. Of course, if I could make it to Vancouver to see Smoked, I would probably have to skip it (or leave early) to see the Pointed Sticks farewell show at the Rickshaw, because I couldn't be in Vancouver and not see that - they're a great band, and nice guys, and I LOVE some of their songs ("True Love," "The Marching Song," and "Found Another Boy" especially); even though I've managed to catch them six times since they regrouped, I'm sad as hell that I won't ever get to see them again. And of course, if I saw the Pointed Sticks in the city I'd have to stay overnight to see the rest of the film fest on Sunday: Nightmare Factory, Manborg, and the very interesting-sounding Vanishing Waves. Then I'd feel like I'd done my bit to support the scene that matters to me...

The Pointed Sticks at the Red Room by Femke van Delft, not to be reused without permission

...because the really sad thing about Vancouver is that people DON'T get out to support stuff like the Rio Grind. Already Robin Bougie - who has a Cinema Sewer/ Videomatica table set up at the theatre - is on Facebook haranguing people for their piss-poor attendance at the films today (except John Dies At The End, which apparently was okay; it was certainly the film I most wanted to see). Hell, if I still LIVED in Vancouver, I'd have bought a festival pass and would be seeing EVERYTHING this weekend; it's only $20 for a daypass to all the events, or $50 for the whole thing! There's a direct correlation between the number of people who attend this weekend and the likelihood of the Rio Grind ever being able to happen again; I for one would LOVE this festival to be an ongoing part of life in Vancouver, and I don't even fucking LIVE in Vancouver anymore...  I feel guilty as hell that I'm having to face up to my circumstances - broke, with a backlog of writing, a dependent Mom who gets lonely, and vastly diminished energies when it comes to commuting into the city for "fun," especially when I still have to commute for other reasons (like work, or an even longer-distance relationship I'm in). If I get some writing done tomorrow there's a slim chance I might make Vanishing Waves, but even that seems dubious... I'm mad that I'm missing this, feel kind of ashamed of myself, feel depressed that I'm just now having to really LET GO OF MY LIFE IN VANCOUVER. Like I never fully have... like I've been fighting for awhile and have to face up to the fact that I don't live in that city anymore, and can't really do the things I want to do...

Sigh... would everyone who reads this this weekend please get out and see something at the Rio Grind, so I can at least feel like I've supported the fest at a remove?