...So there is some sexual detail in this blogpost, as you may gather.
I think my last wet dream was in 2008; I was staying at my parents' for a weekend visit, back when both were still alive, sleeping on their couch. I don't think my Mom had had her stroke, yet. I dreamed that a local writer I know (male!) was sucking me off and woke up with a wet spot in the front of my shorts -- an embarrassing thing to have to conceal and clean up when your parents are awake before you! Anyhow, I would have been 40, then; if I have had a wet dream since, I haven't noticed it.
I do sometimes have sexual dreams, but they rarely involve other people. Usually I'm trying to find a place to masturbate (to straight porn; there is no queer element to these dreams), but I keep getting interrupted; I wake up unsatisfied, with an erection, which usually correlates to a strong need to pee. Never do I reach orgasm in these dreams, even if it is ONLY in the dream; they're quite frustrating -- wankus interruptus.
The other week, things changed up, however. I had a dream where I was having sex with a young Asian-Canadian man; we were in his bedroom in his parents' home. I am not sure if I was also younger; the dream has no elements of reality in it, so I have no idea who he was supposed to be, or even if I was supposed to be myself. But we were fucking, and he warned me that we should stop, because if we continued, our ejaculations would stain the sheets and his parents would find out about it. There would be no way to clean up and keep closeted.
I thought about it for a second, considered my priorities, and decided, fuckit, I'm coming! So I grabbed myself, gave a few strokes, and exploded semen all over the bedsheets.
The young man was freaked out. His sister came into the room and he explained to her, begging her to help. I was sitting naked in the bedsheets, enormous gobs of semen all over the place (it didn't look much like semen, but was clear and had the sparkly sheen of a petroleum biproduct). I felt kind of pleased with myself.
Then I woke up and checked my shorts to see if it had been a wet dream. It felt like it might have been -- there certainly was an orgasm of some sort involved in the dream, or the sensation of one (can one have the sensation of an orgasm without it actually having been an orgasm?), even if (assuming orgasm and ejaculation can be separated) I had not actually produced any goo, I had all the other feelings I associate with coming -- the tingling explosion of light shooting up the spine, the burst behind the eyes, etc.
Anyhow, there was nothing in my shorts that I could find. I would have been kind of impressed and kind of mortified (56 years old and still coming in his pants!).
At least it wasn't another dream where I couldn't manage to jerk off, though. Those are annoying.
Post-script: 20 people have read my sex dream since I posted it this morning.
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