Monday, August 14, 2023

NO FUN brings the Rich Folk Festival tonight to Queen's Park in New Westminster!


Commence press release, written before NO FUN was profiled by Stuart Derdeyn and had a surprise vinyl issue of their greatest hits... 

"Trust fund babies and wealthy old ladies and everyone goes 'cause everyone knows RICH FOLK FESTIVAL shows..."

THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL, a West Coast musical/financial institution since 1986, is back! It's NO FUN's 37th annual iteration of the original Capitalist Folk Festival that made the world safe for ALL Folk Festivals! And this year, we're taking it outside!

In 2023, for the first time ever and by popular demand, THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL will take place in an outdoor location, just like the Communist Folk Festivals of a bygone era. Who wants to drift like a virus around some filthy campground at a Folk Festival? Apparently you do!

Current "Who cares about social distancing?" protocols mean that attendance to THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL will be limited to a mere 50,000 or so social climbers this year, but few local entertainers in the last half-century have been as consistently unpopular with the hoi polloi as NO FUN, so don't worry about finding a spot on the hill to spread your Gabriela Hearst Figueras Cashmere Blanket (estimated value $4000).

Because time is money, THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL is conveniently compressed into two hours on one evening at a somewhat difficult-to-find outdoor location. Just have your driver set the limo's GPS for the northeast corner of Queen's Park, where the Centennial Lodge's magnificently pricy totem pole will glower over the festivities. There will be free water for all of your underlings in our Servant's Corral!

And yes, we still have no admission fee at THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL, a lean, mean event with a "real world" budget that requires no incentive-sapping government handouts. As we know, the pricing model for most Folk Festivals was unsustainable, and even though THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL once admired the vast wealth of Vancouver Folk Festivals, we always acknowledged the fact that real Rich Folk never have to pay to get into anything.

Sated attendees may wish to place some of their RICH FOLK FESTIVAL entertainment value into their RRESP (Registered Retirement Entertainment Savings Plan). Ask your financial musical advisor if this is right for you.

THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL returned in 2018 because the world needed it, it returned in 2020 because DAVID-65 > COVID-19, and it will never stop returning, because whenever a dime falls out of the pocket of a billionaire, NO FUN will be there to put it right back where it belongs. So join DAVID M. and the whole NO FUN gang featuring Diamond Dave Dedrick and Pete Campbell Ltd. for 2023's triumphant financial return of the Richest Folk Festival of them all - THE RICH FOLK FESTIVAL!

Like Lenin (or was it Lennon?) once said: "Folk 'em if they can't take a yoke!"

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