Dreams of Diarrhea

The dream I was having involved, as they often do, some failed quest, a competition with peers for some now forgotten reward. I'd retreated to a room - not sure which, even by the terms of the dream, as it seemed both bedroom and bathroom. I can't say for sure if I was sitting on a bed or a toilet when I began to shit, but it doesn't matter, because the shit was explosive and wet, spraying out of me with such enthusiasm that I missed the confines of the bowl (if there even was one) and shat all around myself. One image was of holding a wastebasket at the edge of the toilet to catch the stuff that sprurted out between my legs, but not all of it hit the basket either. I remember someone coming to visit and seeing all the shit surrounding me, dripping off the walls, piled on the floor. Presently I woke up (after a mere four hours' sleep) and wisely went to the bathroom.

No more eggnog and spiced rum before bed!