Offering myself sexually to Diamanda Galas (!)

(The following is self explanatory. My parents, should they visit this site, might not want to read what follows. I printed this out and sent it to Ms. Galas after posting it -- I have yet to hear back from her. I have updated this entry, so you read exactly what she read).

Dear Ms. Galas –

A rather odd piece of fan mail, this, but, uh, I’m hoping it’s more amusing than dangerously weird.

Read recently in that old Re/Search issue, Angry Women, that you’d always wanted to fuck a man up the ass, but had had, at that point, no volunteers. It seems quite possible that after you said that, a huge queue of willing weird males who craved the distinction of being sodomized by Diamanda Galas formed at your doorstep and that the comment has been one of the few public statements you regret having made (my apologies, in this case, at being so tedious, and so late, too!). In fact I would be shocked (but somewhat proud) to discover that in the 12 years or so since the book was published that I’m the first and only man to speak to this point; I hope you’ll let me know if such is the case. Anyhow, I kinda got this feeling after reading your comment of obligation; and thus –

For the record, I’m not really presently interested in anal play per se, nor do I have a weird celebrity fetish going on, tho’, heh, in the crowd I move in it would make a fun story to tell, far better than my having hugged Damo Suzuki or having given an Ultraman monster to David Byrne; in fact, sexually, you, uh, intimidate the hell out of me. (You’d have to promise to at least make an effort tot be gentle!). However, since I read a fascinating bit of theory (years ago) by Leo Bersani, “Is the Rectum a Grave?” (which I highly recommend – a short version of it appears in an anthology, Reclaiming Sodom), I’ve been inclined to agree with Bersani that a lot of straight men have repressed/denied such sites of pleasure, that homophobia possibly involves a fear of non-phallic sexual pleasure in the male, and that a sort of liberation can come from reclaiming these taboo sites (do you know Robert Duncan’s poem, “The Place Rumor’d to have been Sodom?”). Theory can lead one to odd places at times. In fact, in my intensely autoerotic acidhead 20’s, in addition to other odd things I tried, I bought dildoes and vibrators and did indeed experiment with penetrating myself, learning to take intense pleasure, at the time, from anal stimulation; I eventually got bored of it, dropping it from my own routines, but I did always think it would be interesting to be fucked up the ass by a woman wearing a strap on, and indeed think it probably is an experience every straight man should have (which comment you make in said interview)… It’s come up in conversation with a couple of female lovers, but we never actually went there, alas. I remain an anal virgin.

For the record, tho’ I’m somewhat bright, I am underaccomplished, not particularly powerful, and rather overweight, such that you might think of Ned Beatty in Deliverance in the heat o’ things... Frankly, I, uh, imagine I’m not your type. However, the offer stands: when you’re next in Vancouver, if you want my ass, it’s yours. Uh, I guess we should start with coffee…

Admired your most recent CDs and enjoyed your last Vancouver show. Thought of you on watching Pasolini’s Salo at the Cinematheque this month, too; his identification with the victims in that film, his compassion for them in the face of such cruelty, reminded me very much of your work, and I commented to a friend with me (who’d also been at your concert), “I wonder how many times Diamanda Galas has seen this film?”.

Curious, are you a John Cassavetes fan? It would be interesting to me to know your reactions to his work (I recommend everyone see Faces, at the very least). What about the novels of Cormac McCarthy? I recommend Child of God...

I can be reached at ammacinn@hotmail.com; you can also see my blog, http://alienatedinvancouver.blogspot.com , wherein one may find pics of me, if you’re curious. If you reply to this, and I am not in fact the first man to offer up his ass to you, do let me know how many (tens? hundreds?) have gone before me, if you took any of them up on it, and if it was an interesting experience, okay? (If I may post this info on my blog, let me know. I’ve posted this letter…). I’m really quite conservative, believe it or not… Heh.

Allan MacInnis