No Fun at Christmas

Just saw No Fun play the Railway Club and all I can say is, Jeezus, they still do Gorgo ads. I first saw them doing Gorgo ads when I was a teenager watching Soundproof on cable-access latenite TV in Maple Fuckin' Ridge. Who put the "U" in Underachiever? No Fun, is who -- an apparent 30 years into their musical career and they are no better (and no worse) than they ever were. They still don't have a record contract, they still play to tiny crowds, they still make fun of themselves and they still seem to be enjoying what they're doing. They even look the same -- Leahy's lost a little more hair and David M. is slimmer, but they remain No Fun, and their set remains 80% toss-offs and things that are cute for about a minute (like the ditty where Marlon Brando replaces Rudolph in towing Santa's sleigh), 10% moments of near brilliance (a Christmasized version of "Major Tom," say), and 10% as-close-to-genius-as-doggerel-and-pop-tunes can come. (There were always two or three songs on every cassette that seemed essential: "Work Drink Fuck Die," "Be Like Us"... some of you must know what I mean...). Their Christmas-themed rewritten set-closer of "I'm not taking Suzy to the Be-in" aside, tho', they never really transcended their opening number tonight. As I slouched depressed over my beer, wondering about current relationship issues and the advice of a counsellor I'm seeing, wondering if I'll ever meet a woman I can be with, and generally feeling totally sorry for myself and glad for the alcohol, they launched into a carol to the tune of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful": "Oh come all ye faithless, cynical and joyless..." I didn't get it all down but their chorus was "Oh come let us be morbid, oh come let us be morbid, oh come let us be morbid, Chrii-ist my head." Truly delightful. I loved it, it cheered me up almost instantly, for a few minutes anyhow, just enough to keep me drinking and hanging in for more, which seems to be pretty much the whole of No Fun's ambition. I'm glad they're still out there, but they hold the record in my book for neither shitting nor getting off the pot. In a way, there's something quite impressive about it. On the other hand... Well, why say it, it is what it is. I wonder if they'll do No Fun on Drugs anytime soon?

Now I'm gonna go see if I can find "I'm not taking Suzy to the Be-in" on Soulseek. You never know, I found the Spores "Narcs in my Pants" the other day. Whattaya mean, you don't know who the Spores were?