7am and reading

There's stuff I have not been writing about much -- that just kinda fills me with despair and grief and confusion. I don't know what to say about it or do about it, so I do and say nothing. I try not to think about it, because thinking about it just makes my head hurt. 

That may not change anytime soon. But here's what I've been reading this morning, as the CBC is warning of an escalation in the situation between Israel and Lebanon, as Hezbollah launches rockets in retaliation for Israel's killing a Hamas leader...:  https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/israel-hezbollah-threats-1.7075816 

...while people are saying the damage wrought by Israel in Gaza is the most devastating anywhere in the 21st century, comparable to the results of the Dresden firebombing... https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/israel-gaza-bombing-hamas-civilian-casualties-1.7068647

This was where I started: "What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas" from Foreign Affairs:

https://www.foreignaffairs.com/israel/what-palestinians-really-think-hamas

...the head-pounder in there is that Hamas, by attacking Israel, increases popularity for itself -- but Israel still proceeds with attacks. I remember similar comments (maybe by Chomsky?) after the 9/11 attacks, that such actions benefit hardliners everywhere.

A friend thinks my focus on Hamas, at a time when Israel is flagrantly violating international law and decimating one of the most fucked-over populations on earth -- is perverse and wrong and saddening. She may be right. 

What Israel is doing deserves condemnation. As I write this, upwards of 22,000 Palestinians have been killed by Israel actions. 

But I can't get over that they are PROBABLY doing exactly as Hamas intended and wanted. 

It's like - a person owns a pit bull. You don't want them to own a pit bull. So you walk up to that pit bull and hit it with a stick, so everyone can see the pit bull attacking you. Sure, you may have reasons for thinking people shouldn't own pit bulls. But I'm not going to join in the resulting protests against pit bull ownership when I SAW YOU WITH THAT STICK. 

I want to see people condemn Hamas. I do not feel like the people I've seen marching up Commercial Drive chanting "from the river to the sea" necessarily do that. I don't want to be complicit in the October 7th attacks. I've marched with pro-Palestinian groups before (when protesting US invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq), and been comfortable with it, but this time, no. 

An interesting side note: I "learned" about the October 7th attacks not on the news. I was coming out of an Italian restaurant in Victoria with my wife. A small car drove by with a woman in a hijab sticking her head out of the passenger window giving what I can only describe as a "war cry" -- one of those ululating, vaguely terrifying things involving tongue motions beyond the scope of my physiology (even pre-surgery). My thought was, "Oh no, what happened." And so I looked at my phone. 

Do many people who are marching, now, by and large support what Hamas did on October 7th? When people calling for a ceasefire are also chanting "from the river to the sea," it muddies the waters for me beyond what I'm comfortable with. 

It heartens me to see Jews protesting Israel's retaliation. I recently made a small gesture to see if I had Jewish blood -- something I've suspected but been unable to confirm. (My maternal grandparents left the Ukraine around the time of pogroms against Jews; my maternal grandmother's last name was Kozel or Kozell, which certainly has a Jewish ring to it). I haven't pursued it, however. I might be more comfortable joining a Jewish group condemning Israel's actions. 

This is an interesting read, about the need to condemn Hamas: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-wont-you-condemn-hamas-your-allies-silent-what-do-malhotra-ormge

This is also an interesting read, though -- about the perversity of insisting that Palestinians condemn Hamas, when Israel is committing war crimes:

https://www.declassifieduk.org/why-do-uk-media-insist-palestinians-condemn-hamas-but-not-that-israelis-condemn-israel/ 

...and yet I've got nothing. The more I read, the more I feel despair. I'm going to stop now and think about other things.