A dream you don't want to read about

...So in the dream I'm part of some cult who are instructed, for whatever reason, to emasculate a member who has betrayed the cause (this likely relates to the essay I'm writing comparing Koji Wakamatsu's United Red Army to the notorious Kichiku Dai Enkai). I stand watching as the rest of the group set to work, attacking this man's genitals. For whatever reason, I rebel - I can remember thinking "I draw the line at cutting someone's testicles off"- but then decide to take a kitchen knife to my own testicles, holding the knife in my right hand and slicing across from the bottom. It is not particularly painful, almost tickles, so I'm unsure if the cut is successful, but then see that my boxers are soaked with blood. The image of blood dripping from my wounded scrotum is the last part of the dream I remember.

The most disturbing part of the dream is that it wasn't very disturbing, was in fact quite matter-of-fact and "normal"-feeling. I'd been reading about animal castration in Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma prior to falling asleep. Perhaps that influenced it...